May 10, 1935

As
Frau Hoffmann so affectionately and tactlessly informed me, he's found a
replacement for me. She's called the Valkyrie, and that's what she
looks like, legs included. He likes vital statistics of this kind, but
if she is really like that, he'll soon make her thin with worry unless,
like Charly, the more troubles she has, the fatter she gets. Charly's
problems only stimulate her appetite.
If Frau H's gossip is true.
I think it's terrible that he should say nothing to me about it. After
all, he should know me well enough to realize that I'd never put any
obstacles in the way if he suddenly discovered his heart belonged to
someone else. What happens to me is no concern of his.
I'm going
to wait till June 3rd, when it will be three months since our last
encounter. Then I'll ask for an explanation. Can anyone call that asking
too much?
The weather's so wonderful, and I'm the mistress of
the greatest man in Germany and in the world, but all I'm doing is
sitting here and gazing at the sun through a window. How can he have so
little compassion as to leave me here, bowing to strangers?
Man
proposes, etc. And as you make your bed ... It's all my fault, but
sometimes it's nice to put at least some of the blame on others. The
long fast will end, and then everything will taste so much better.
It's a pity it had to be spring.
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