… I know, I know. I’m not supposed to mention cases. I’m not giving any real details away, though.
[ … ]
I suppose you could if you really tried, but why should you bother? Anyway, it’s what’s on my mind today. Isn’t that important? That’s what you always say, anyway.
[ … ]
Okay, I’ll try to be careful, but ... Can we get on with it now? I am paying for at least part of this session, you know. The insurance doesn’t cover all of it.
[ ... ]
Yeah, I suppose there could be an element of resentment in there. I mean, I didn’t ask for this, you know. At first it was okay, but I had no idea it would go on and on and on like this. Isn’t there any way of knowing …
[ ... ]
Okay, yes, you make your point. You can’t know until you know. You can’t recommend termination of the therapy until you’ve seen a real improvement. Actually, that’s kind of what I wanted to talk about – why I brought up the new patient ...
[ ... ]
Okay, begin at the beginning. Good advice. I’m not really used to this, you know – telling stories. It wasn’t really in our training – more like summaries and case notes. So stop me if I’m going too fast.
I’ve been assigned this new patient. He’s blind, but reasonably mobile. He just needs to be checked up on every couple of days, have blood taken for tests and his medication checked.
[ ... ]
Well, no, he’s not really used to his condition. That’s the problem. He’s just been discharged from hospital. He wasn’t always blind, you see – it’s a consequence of an accident. Can I tell you what that was?
[ ... ]
No? How about that there are cardio-vascular complications as well? Is that too much?
[ ... ]
Okay? Well, the cat’s out of the bag now anyway.
He’s a middle-aged man, average build …
[ ... ]
Oh? Sorry. I told you I wasn’t very good at telling stories. And it’s really difficult when you have to think the whole time about what’s safe to tell you and what isn’t.
Anyway, the important thing about him, the reason why I’m talking about him in the first place, is this delusion he’s developed …
[ ... ]
About me, about himself, about his whole environment …
[ ... ]
Well, I really want to ask some advice, that’s the thing. I don’t know whether to encourage him in it or not.
[ ... ]
I did ask them. My supervisor just laughed and said, “Whatever gets them through the day, honey …”
[ ... ]
I suppose I took it to mean that I should just go with the flow and kind of play along with the gag. But I don’t know. It’s not really in my training to keep on lying to him, encouraging him to believe that I really am …
[ ... ]
No, I don’t think there’s a sexual element in it. It’s hard to say. I suppose there could be. It'd seem an odd way to go about it.
Certainly not on my part, I can assure you. I don’t find him in the least bit attractive, and even if I did …
[ ... ]
Yes I know that’s how I got in trouble before, but – you know – it could have happened to anyone. Life just isn’t as predictable as they make it out to be in all those codes and manuals.
[ ... ]
No, I’m not trying to condone it or explain it away … God, this would be so much easier if we were only in the same room and I could see your face! I find this really difficult, you know, doing the whole thing online. I’d feel like I could read you better, and I’m sure it’d make what I’m trying to tell you a whole lot easier.
[ ... ]
Yes, I know, I know. There’s no point talking about it really. I can’t afford a live therapist, so I’ll have to make do with a virtual one.
[ ... ]
Point taken. I guess I am putting myself down as the kind of person who can’t afford the best and has to make do with something inferior that they don’t really want – but what if that’s the truth anyway? What if my “subconscious aggression” coincides with what’s actually happening to me?
[ ... ]
Oh, didn’t I mention that already? I’m sorry, I must have got confused. I thought I’d told you.
He thinks that I’m a vampire.
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